A New year and a Fresh start

Proverbs 24:16

for the righteous falls seven times and rises again,
    but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.

 

   This past year has been a very  interesting and difficult year.  A lot of ups and downs…i was faced with, what I think, one of lifes’ harder lessons.  It was a lesson about giving up, or a better way of saying it would be letting go.  Letting go of my desire.
   I was raised in a home that pointed me to responsibility, respect, honesty…good behavior. when surronded with these expectations no matter how perfect and safe it is or not… you subcincioustly believe you are a good person. I believed this because there was nothing that pointed out otherwise,  and when compared to majority of the world…well I am a good person.  I don’t lie, steal, murder, get revenge on pepole who hurt me, and intentionally try to belittle people for personal gain.  There is nothing pointing at me saying I need to be a better person, when comparing myself to everyone else in this crazy world!
   I am almost convinced that being a “good” person you don’t see the need for something more.  becuase, I thought I was a “good” person why wouldn’t God love me or save me?  I am a nice, kind, generous, considerate person?!  well, 2012 was the year that I discovered…my not good side.  NO,I did not start stealing or murdering…nothing really changed in me at all.  In fact, my belief in God became more solidified!  BUT the thing that DID change was the way I viewed myself.  I saw when It came down to what I wanted, I would choose it.  No matter who said what…even if God would tell me “no”  I would choose what I want over what God wants.  I saw (how the Bible describes it) my fleshly desire.  What I desired was not bad in any way shape or form.  It would be like a kid wanting ice cream.  you would say that is not a BAD thing.  That “not good” is choosing myself…God never told me “no” , but he allowed me to see that even if he would have told me “no” I would choose what I wanted.  choosing what I want  no matter what God wants is the not good.  AND through all this, I saw that my desires were not the Best.  which I opened my eyes to the possiblility that my desires could sometimes be bad as well!  God wants the Best for us, even if we don’t.   
This year has been VERY interesting because as well as seeing the “Not good” side of me I also recognized the freedom God has given me with EVERYTHING!  SO I realized I have more freedom, but with the freedom I saw that my unability to make the Best choice for myself. 

  I don’t have too much more to write, Really I just want to thank God for the people he placed in my life  this past year n’ half which could never be replaced.  2012 was a difficult year but I would not redo any of it!  The lessons learned were worth it.  Im ready for 2013 and what it has to offer!


Peace

The peace of God is undeniable. I recently heard a song, I believe written by Jars of clay, called all my tears. God bled, and Died and Rose for us…For us as a people for us as individuals. He has SO much love for us…and he brings us peace. our lives are a journey. a journey towards death to self, death to self in order to find new life. romans 8:26-30
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, becauset the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,t for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

We are on a journey to become more like JESUS! which means death to who I am. The coast guard is part of this death. John 21 when Jesus ad Peter are talking it reminds me of how God is with me on this journey.
I continue to say yes lord, I am yours…but have I really fully given my life? I follow him to where he leads, but while I am there do I fully submit my desires and heart? is my focus god or is it me? THIS IS MY FAHTERS WORLD, LET ME NOT FORGET!

here are the lyrics to the song:

When I go, don’t cry for me
In my Father’s arms I’ll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I’ll be whole.
Sun and moon will be replaced
With the light of Jesus’ face
And I will not be ashamed
For my Savior knows my name.

It don’t matter where you bury me,
I’ll be home and I’ll be free.
It don’t matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away.

Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven’s store,
Come and drink, and thirst no more

It don’t matter where you bury me
I’ll be home and I’ll be free
It don’t matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

So, weep not for me my friends,
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again.

It don’t matter where you bury me,
I’ll be home and I’ll be free.
It don’t matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away.


been long time

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Much too long to be able to process what life has been for me in these past 5 months. there has been so much packed into such short amount of time that I have forgotten most of what has even happened…and all I can see is this moment I am in now. It has almost been a year since I returned from South Africa. Time has passed right before my eyes…and I have not even realized. My heart hopes that this next year will pass with the same quickness. what I can say now is this is one of the harder seasons of my life… It seems that life gets harder and harder…and we only must grower stronger and stronger…or should I say weaker and weaker…I find myself having to lean on God more and more and realizing I have actually no strength. I am not strong….I am weak and I DO NEED help. I need God’s hands to guide me and help me get through even the daily grind. I am grateful for the moments of peace I have. I think I shall write a poem on it later.

I am unsure of what God is teaching me currently…I have a feeling it will be a lesson of patience…these are going to be a long few years I have a feeling!
ALL in ALL GOD IS GOOD and GOd IS Guiding me. =)


people people

For years something I have wanted to do Is to create a coffee table book for myself of all the people I have encountered over my life that has made an impact on me! kinda like a photo album on steroids perhaps!? And I am finding the more and more people I meet the harder it will be to actually get them into a book!
one of my passions in life is people..meeting New people and hearing peoples stories!  So I have created a list of questions some of questions I am sure you all have heard me ask you at one point or another! But It would be greatly appreciated if you would answer the questions in number order or in paragraph form…it doesn’t matter…as long as I can retell your story for you.  and remind myself of your awesome-ness! =)  I also ask that you send me a picture that captures your essence as well! Thanks friends!

Even if I don’t know you I would love to have stories about you! The more details the better!

email answers to rbkh.martin@gmail.com

1. Name, Date of Birth, City of birth
2. How and When did we meet?
3. over a 5 year period of time, if you HAD to lose one sense a year what would be the order of losing them? (smell, touch, taste, sight, hearing)
4. you are what you eat…what are you?
5. What is your biggest Pet peeve..or one of them?
6. What is something that changed your perspective on life?
7. How did you get where you are today, at this very moment? AND What are you doing AND where are you?
8. What is something you wished you would have known 5 years ago?
9. What is your dream? if money was no object?
10. Why is it your dream?
11. What is one of your favorite things to enjoy?
12. What is something Odd (or not odd) about you that nobody really knows?
13. Describe a time when you have been at complete peace. (where, when why..etc)
14. What does life mean to you?
15.  what is one of your favorite memories?
16. What are you truly afraid of?
Thanks guys! I really appreciate it! I will let you know when I get finished with this…and I may even send you a copy! 😉 it will be a while until I am finished, I am sure…but I thought this would be a good start! =)

change

I was convinced that who a person is doesn’t change.  yes, what you do and the channels you go through in life, those can change dramatically. But who God created you to be doesn’t change. that is what I believed. this idea came up multiple times over this easter weekend. and now I think I was wrong. I look back at to who I was 5 plus years ago, there is a dramatic difference in who I am…things I did that back then that I don’t consider to even be me anymore. why? what? how even?  well…what I realized this morning. it is a constant change. I want to lay it out. 1. I was created, so I am who I am, there are things about me that I was born with, my own personality sewn together by the seed of my parents.  they then were sewn together by their parents’ seeds and so on until the beginning of time when God created man/adam.  2. the fall then happened… knowledge of good and evil entered the world. which changed the way man thought and viewed life..ultimately changing the relationship between animal and man and God!
3. God is bringing right relationship back…death and resurrection.  4. my personal salvation of believing in Jesus… intial change of my way of thinking…not of who I am. BUT the way a man thinks will guide a man to be who he is.  5.  everyday is time that passes…everyday is a constant step closer entering into a right relationship again… 6. Jesus’ second coming = right relationship = real change.
so,’who we are’, do we change?  it is not a yes or no answer to a question. it is a process that will take a lifetime to fully develop a real change!


Rebekah’s Cycle of life

Aspire. Explore. REST. Repeat.

Trying to live and not skip stage 3 of the cycle of life.


provoking questions

1. what do I worry most about?
2. What, if i failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that i would not  even want to live ?
3. what do i use to comfort myself when things are bad?
4.  what do i do to cope?  release valves to feel better?
5. what do i day dream about? what do I preoccupy myself with?
6. for what do i want to be known? what am i the proudest of? what makes me feel the most self worth?
7.  what to i lead a conversation with?  what do i want people to know about me?
8. what prayer, if unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?
9. what do I really want and expect out of life? what would really make me happy?
10. what is my hope for the future?